Shaken Not Stirred: Tea Talk with Jo
Parental Inequality: Dad’s can slack off but Mother’s can’t?
Parental Inequality: Does such a thing really exist? I most certainly think so. Among parents, dads get all the fun and moms, the stress and fatigue. After speaking with a number of single and married mothers, we all agreed on one thing: through our experience and observation our society overwhelmingly places mothers as the primary parent, rather than seeing parenting as an equally shared responsibility between mother and father. Mother’s face intense parenting pressure more than fathers. While it’s pretty much okay for fathers to slack off here and there, moms are expected to relieve dad’s of their duties without complaint. I see and hear about this all the time and have experienced this myself. When is this going to change?
Although I have primary custody of my 3 young children, I find that I am still expected to do more by others, even when it’s my ex-husbands weekend with the kids! For example, my ex-husband got side-tracked and forgot to pick the kids up from school once. Friends and family suggested that I put my kids first and drive across town and get them for him because at the end of the day, “I am their ‘mother’ and I need to put the kids first.” (There goes that parenting pressure.) No one suggested that he did anything wrong or that he should be told to not let this happen again. Is he not their father as much as I am their mother? There was a time he also had to miss work and stay home with the kids and an older friend mentioned to me, “Oh, man. I hope he doesn’t get fired.” For watching his own kids!? I have never received that type of sympathy the many times I had to miss work to stay home with my kids. Why? Because it’s society’s norm for mothers to stay home from work with the kids. Parenting responsibilities are to be equally shared among mothers and fathers.
I wonder if there will ever be a time when fathers are equally held accountable for their parenting and the burden and pressure will no longer be placed solely on mothers. Until then, I will continue to voice my opinion and demand that fathers be seen as an equal to mothers. Society is telling everyone that when dad is slacking, it’s mothers’ job to fill that void when instead, they should be pushing fathers to equally fulfill their roles and responsibilities. Parental inequality is real out here on these streets!
By: Johyko Rodriguez
“Edgy, real, eclectic and vibrant are just some of the words that describe Johyko Rodriguez. Hailing from Queens, New York, she is a current South Florida resident living a hectic lifestyle as a single mother of three. Her passion for life, culture, art, design and self-empowerment has led her to write about the world around her in the hopes of promoting the virtues of abundant living and free speech.”